icarus

Mother Natures Son

Weekend

so this is what has happened the last couple of days. last night (thursday) i told myself that i would lay down for about a half hour for a short nap around 7 oclock. I thought after my map ill do some work. well the problem became that i did not wake up a half hour later but at 3 in the morning. the crusher was i sleep through my medicine time and when i woke up it was too late to take them. so i had a very rough day on friday and saturday and even today im still not feeling great but keeping busy helps me keep my mind off of the voices but last night i was having suicidal thoughts as well, and that is never good.

i have been taking a lot of baths lately, its very relaxing and it warms me up now that the days are getting colder.

im working on a painting of me my brother jimmy and my dad. im thinking itll look very nice.

i wish i had more to say but im just not feeling it but i wanted to post what i did this weekend, you might have trouble seeing it though.

This Is Spinal Tap

im growing my nails back again. they are a nice length now, not too long so that they will break but just a little tip. so i can paint them. but theres really no point in painting them because they are already full of paint. oh well.

I came up with a theory. For about 12 weeks now i have been experiencing strange pains and sensations in my but and legs. with the medicine i take there is a side effects of tremors and restlessness in limbs. For the 12 weeks i just assumed it was my medicine causing the pain. although for the last two weeks i have been taking extra dosages of my cogentin, (the anti tremor medicine) however i am not finding it helping get rid of the pain and restlessness. Then today while in my lecture i started to experience the pain again. the pain only starts if im sitting down in a chair for a long period of time and also while i sleep. but i also have this back condition called spondylothesis. Its in my lower back where the discs are cushioning the vertebrae, my disc is slipping out about 50 percent now causing the vertebrae to rub nerves. I have had this for about 8 years now and it would only seldom give me a problem. but i called my dad today and asked him about the pain. he thinks i should have it checked out when i go home for the break. i hope that it is the medication thats giving me the problems because i can just fix it with more medication. the back issue is harder to deal with. I really dont know where it would go other than surgery. i dont want that.

im being bad and writing a blog post during a lecture. whoopsy.

Lucian

I am sorry i have not posted in about 6 days. I was sickly with the swine flu and am just recuperating from the week. I got a lot work done surprisingly with skipping most of my classes. I had two very good crits this week. One was a mobilized crab that me and two other girls made with me, and our second pitch and feedback sessions with my concept professors. The really liked our progress, but ironically the ideas and the production were pulled out very quickly. we had the crit on thursday and only though of the idea on wednesday. So me and my group were lucky. But this weekend i am still regenerating my strength so i took it easy and just painted.

usually i am a very thin painter i put and scrape the oil across the canvas and build up from that. this experimentation that i am doing for this painting is to apply the paint with a palette knife and then go back in with a brush and blend and soften a bit. so far it looks pretty good. i like it, its not my favorite but it was fun to make and to eventually see the outcome of the final product. heres some of it in progress.

The Took

so lets recap the weekend. On thursday i bought a new sweater, its red with little spec of blue and gold in it. then i essentially went home and went to bed. i woke up friday morning as death, my head hurt, my breathing, hurt my body ached, my cough was very frequent in between, and my nose ran. I so i had the swine flu. mmmmhhhmmmm. But friday night i called my mom just to chit chat and she demanded that i have someone there for me to check up on me. so i went into quarantine, drank a bunch of gatorade and ate a lot of granola bars and bread.i was there from friday until yesterday, then i went back to the health services today and the advised me not to go to classes, but im pretty sure i will make myself go to class, i have some important things to take care of.

Im watching lord of the rings my all time favorite. i love these books and i love the movies. But this is a perfect movie to watch when you are sick, it relaxes me anyway, or a bath but i already took a bath earlier today so i am not due for one, unless i get the chills again, but i dont really feel like taking another shower or bath, so i wont.

even though they are bad guys... i would love to ride one of the nazgul, the dragon like things the wraiths rie in the second and third movie, for visual purposes i make that example.

"hey ho to the bottle i go to heal my heart and drown my woe the rain may fall then wind may blow but there still be many miles to go. Sweet is the sound of the pouring rain and the streams that fall from hill to plain but better than rain or a rippling brook, is a mug of beer inside this took."

i love that part.


im drinking vanilla chai that is entirely too hot for me to drink now, i must let it sit.

Sickly Sick

I am laying on my couch now after being isolated or quarantined for the most of the weekend. I was held in an old dorm room , but luckily i didnt have to share the room with anyone, then i would have been pissed. but i wasnt so it wasnt so bad. i cant sleep very well though its just these continuous spurts of tiredness where i sleep for maybe about an hour to two hours, then i wake up. I keep getting hot then cold then hot then cold, with sweats as well. They gave us minimal amounts of food like bagels soup salad and granola bars. I only ate the bagels and the granola bars. They also gave us gatorade, i havent had that in a while, but they had grape so it was my favorite tasty flavor. I watch the dark knight and a movie called dark water. dark water was actually a pretty bad movie, i like jennifer connelly but the plot in this movie was so lame, actually to tell you the truth i dont really even remember what the plot was i just remember my reaction to it. oh well, but to make up for it the dark knight is an excellent movie. Il be browsing the web to see it i can get a good movie suggestion, i shall see soon. Whoops i forgot, im downloading a movie called closer, with jude law, natalie portman, julia roberts, and clive owen. Ive seen it before but i want to watch it again.